You wanted to see me inside-out.
You didn’t mind to see or hear
what I had on my mind -
as long as I didn’t censor myself.

You seem to think I have something
worth staying awake for
despite my first draft voice.

You joke that I’m sensitive
and I guess now I see the fun in it.
You say I’m grossly insensitive
in my choice of humour,
but you’ll hear me.

You know what I need and
what it is I should leave behind.

Other waves will break, but I will
remain touched by yours.

Don’t say a lot but speak to him.
Make him see you know him
And that what he wants knows.

Let him learn you inside-through.
Be a perfect mystery everyday.
Be his connection to life.

Your left hand cradles your head, not in support but in absent playfulness.
You are slouching a little - your breasts look wonderful
Like I imagine they would when you lay down to sleep.
Your lips are curvaceous.
Luscious without being domineering.
Each contour curving towards it’s own individuality.

Your eyebrows sit ever so gently above brown eyes
pounded with sleep-thoughts momentarily “tamed”.
But God if they were to lock on to you, you’d die
as soon as they looked away.

Nose and chin in parallel - so Nobel!
Your hand is telling how you are distracted from
your book, but not by us.

That’s what it is about your lips - they do not
sit dormant when stationary but are moving forward.
As if to place the most gentle kiss
on a sleeping lover’s brow.

I cannot smell you but
I imagine what I’d smell if I was close enough.
A clean/soapy smell, imbued with a few
beads of perspiration
from throughout your long day.
A smell that tells of your perfection as a woman.

What is she reading?
She’s stroking her chest with left fingertips and Oh(!) I want to be there!
Such a gentle half act and such a reaction to it.

The people are aloof. Exasperatingly rude.
The city was crowded, noisy and polluted.

Walking along Oxford Street
I had to fight for every inch.
Beautiful fashionable women
are arrogant beyond belief.
Street vendors scowl,
as I’m sure I must be presently.
I’m on my guard always.
I don’t for a second feel safe.
It’s so busy - claustrophobic activity.
You get the idea that
this is where things happen.
It’s where you can’t possibly ever say a kind
word to someone unless you know him or her.
It’s a fight within myself to not reject this place whole,
to burn it from my memory.
But the thought of going back to Leeds,
to Norwich, to anywhere makes me nauseous.
On the outside looking in,
this city seems too hostile.
But if the heart of London were my home,
if I knew every inch of it,
if I had friends here,
if I was a musician, a writer here -
It’d still be a struggle to stay sane and open
and feel safe enough to stroll and smile,
but I’d Love to have London as my home.
I feel living here would be akin to drawing a slightly dulled razor across
my wrist with the semi-confidence that to draw blood –
just a little –

would be orgasmic.

The bible belt of old Jew’s town
Let’s thunder roll tanks and spleens
And forget why’s to be here

Now that I’ve met someone
who always leaves me forgetting your name
as well as your crime.

I’m with someone now
that I’m sure of and
the warmth of trust
is a feeling I like.

She makes me feel connected
and gives me calm.
She reminds me that I am complete
and worth more than I expect.

I’ve made enough mistakes to start making a few less
And I’ve said too many things not to believe in deeds now.

We both know what honesty means
and we love each other enough to use it.

I am too sure to not use it.

The damage you did is just a memory now
that if I strain I can remember little parts of.

I cried and I wrote and I got better;
And now that I’m with her,
I can see why I did it.

A whole hour to hold your hand.
Or five minutes to watch
you brush your teeth.

anything with you
makes me smile.

Next >>>

I gave myself to your tide
and sailed in white sheets.
tired now but no end of love.

we rattle and shake
we fear we may break
but we go further still.

passed speech and only,
with mouths eyes and hands
we count affections within.
make love to underline who we are.

Next >>>

Next >>>

Good underneath.
Soft breath for your ear.
Flammable but tame tongue
None to wide to be gentle.

No games.
Begin by trust
But by God begin.

It’s been so long
Since I was touched
By someone who matters.

Lets choose

Next >>>